Friday, November 03, 2006

12 Things you never knew about men......or perhaps you did!

Further to Skint Writers post.....................


1. Toilets were designed for sitting on, not for peeing standing...it's not easy to hit the puddle in the middle unless you are 2' 6". ( Especially after sex!) - it's not our fault!

2. Men are genetically programmed not to notice mess - it's not our fault!

3. Men are genetically programmed to get pissed with their mates every Friday night - it's not our fault!

4. Men are genetically programmed to talk bollocks when drunk - also not our fault

5. Men are taught by society (and their dad) from an early age, that they are better drivers than women - so not our fault!

6. Men are allergic to doing shopping, otherwise we'd love to - so really not our fault.

7. The reason men need more leisure time, football, drinking etc.. is because we don't live as long as women, so we need to cram it all into a shorter time span - can't blame us for that then.

8. It is a man's duty not to make his mates look bad, by doing housework, buying flowers etc...so it wouldn't be fair to blame that one on us. As we're only trying to save other peoples relationships.

9. Men are unable to read women's minds, or notice the cryptic signals that they put out, due to a predominant frontal lobe impairment - so definitely not our fault!

10. What's a washing machine?

11. Men have to have the remote control to stop women becoming addicted to soaps and Big Brother. - so thank heavens for that then eh girls.

12. It's not our fault!

5 comments:

Suzan Abrams, email: suzanabrams@live.co.uk said...

An entertaining & enjoyable read, Confucious.

pundy said...

To be honest, Confucious, I did know some of those things. But the rest I didn't and I have had my eyes opened. You have given a fair and balanced report on how hard it is to be a man.

I would add that it's not our fault that we are men. That's God's fault. And she's a woman.

Saaleha said...

Ah but to be COnfucious just for a day. Not my fault, what a wonderful way to go through life.

Confucious Trevaskis said...

Thank you Susan.......

I agree totally Pundy..........

If only it really worked Saleeha, if only.........

Luckily there's only one woman close enough to give me a whack for writing this..........

Ouch!

Unknown said...

Not mens' fault eh? Then what is ;¬)