Monday, December 04, 2006

Private part protection tips..........

I've just visited Colonel Knowledge and the after dinner chat turned to the subject of things to keep away from ones testicles...

Which has inspired me to begin compiling a sort of meme to help us males to keep our gonads intact....

here are the first things that came to mind -

1. Kittens....they don't know one plaything from another...and even if they did - they'd still do it!

2. Wax..includes candle wax, as well as the type mad women use to smooth their hairyness.

3. Vets - especially if they're holding a rubber band.

4. Pete Burns....needs no explanation

5. Aussie fast bowlers

6. Escalators.....might seem like a strange one, but they can give a nasty pinch - and those things are like sharks teeth! Besides which, I had a harrowing childhood experience on an escalator....

7. Zips......should have been number one really.

8. Vacuum cleaners....obviously I'm just surmising here!

9. Sauna seats......towel down first every time!

10. Joan Collins...actually no, scratch that, Ralgex should come before Joan Collins

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Vacuum cleaners???
I wouldn't know about that one either. Had some nasty experiences with zips though.

Suzan Abrams, email: suzanabrams@live.co.uk said...

Yes, zips should have been number one. Really.
Enjoyed the lot.
Glad you're blogging again, Confucious.

Saaleha said...

Well there is a scene in a Schuster movie (Mama Jack) where a guy's ... gets sucked up by a vacuum. Very funny. I'm chortling just thinking about it. But as for th rest, I would't know. I'm clueless, or should that be nutless ;)

Confucious Trevaskis said...

Steve and Susan - zips are the work of the devil!

I always think nutless is a good position for a woman to find herslef in.........

Women with nuts....? I've tried to rule them out of my life!

Anonymous said...

Ooh, wax. I've had that done and let me tell you--nobody needs nuts to know that some things are just not meant to be waxed.

Wish I'd known that before I let them get started.

I don't think I want a full, detailed explanation of vacuum cleaners and escalators.