Do not eat food of woman who cook carrots and peas in same pot ......

Fervant apologies for my absence to all my regular reader....been working very long hours plus the Minx nicked my PC when hers wasn't working. Said she had much more important things to do than me ( in both senses of the phrase).....reading a book or something I dunno.... All I know is every sentence she's said to me this week has only had 2 words and the second word's always off !

Anyway, just to show that I'm truly truly truly sorry - here's something a little more wordy than usual....but that doesn't mean it's more funny!



Life In England in the 1500's

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.

Here are some facts that might stop you moaning...

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell a bit, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.

Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children, then last of all the babies.
By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.

Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs - thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs etc ) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.

Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

Most peoples' floors were only dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.

Hence the saying "dirt poor."

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway to keep it in.

Hence the saying a " to cross the thresh hold."

Getting quite an education, aren't you...


Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show it off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could

"Bring home the bacon."

They would cut off a little to share with guests who came to visit and would all sit around eating it.

Hence the saying, "chewing the fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or crust.

Hence the saying;"upper crust."

Bored yet ?


Lead cups were often used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days because of the lead content.. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.

They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.

Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave.

When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive.

So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, running it through the coffin and up through the ground tied to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night to listen for the bells.....

Hence the "graveyard shift"

Thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a “dead ringer”

And that's the truth.......cross my heart and hope to lie - or am I..........