Sunday, November 19, 2006

To make a long story short, don't tell it..............

Apologies for not blogging this week........if anyone's still coming here!

Here's one for you to think about........and add to...............

Objects with gender..........you may not realise this, but even inanimate objects have a gender....and to prove that fact - here's some examples - mostly stolen of course!

FREEZER BAGS: They are male - because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female - because once turned off, it takes a while
to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right
buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

TYRES: Tyres are male - because they go bald easily and are often over inflated. Also prone to having a leaky valve......

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object - because to get them to go anywhere,
you have to light a fire under their arse.

TRAINS: Definitely male - because they always use the same old lines for picking people up

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.(Gonna get it for that one ...)

HAMMERS: Male - because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all,
but are occasionally handy to have around.

THE TV REMOTE CONTROL: Female - Ha.............You probably thought it would be male, but.........consider this - it easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he still keeps banging away at them in the hope of getting a result.........

LOCKS: Female - Because they stop you from getting where you want to go, unless you've got the right key.....

VACUUM CLEANERS: Male - because they'll suck up most rubbish but are generally only turned on by a woman.......

LIGHT BULBS - Male - easily turned on, but liable to blow up before you've finished what you're doing! - or so I'm told............................

COMPUTERS: Can be colourful, useful and interesting, but are liable to crash for no apparent reason...............I'm not brave enough to say it - so make your own mind up!

8 comments:

Suzan Abrams, email: suzanabrams@live.co.uk said...

I would place computers as 'female on her pre-menstrual tension' (the 'crash' part)
Clever post!

I'm still visiting, Confucious.
Your blog is a joy & you, a kind man.

Suzan Abrams, email: suzanabrams@live.co.uk said...

I also place computers as a very old spinster having sex after about 20 or 30 years. Her plug may no longer be fuctional & her parts may come off!

Anonymous said...

Trying again. Good post, Confucius, and I'm still visiting! You don't have to post every day; it's always fun when you do.

Confucious Trevaskis said...

Spinsters with parts coming off?....scary thought Susan (A)!

Glad you're still popping in Susan - and thanks for the compliment............

Saaleha said...

Big C, that was so witty, and incredibly funny. Loved it! Going to foward this link. Got some people i want to have read this.

Saaleha said...

I would say that computers are male. Going too slow when you need them to be fast and too fast when you wish they'd be slow *wink*

Confucious Trevaskis said...

Ah ha, so you're a bit saucy in real life too Saleeha!
Glad you liked it..........

Saaleha said...

Aren't we all?